My uncle used to say that when he was a 5th grade teacher he would get enough cologne and aftershave every Christmas to last him a lifetime. When I started teaching it was not unusual to get 20+ gifts at Christmas from my 125 or so students. Now, I receive less than 10 gifts of any kind each holiday season. I’m not complaining; just making an observation about how traditions have changed. When my daughter was in school my wife and I would give each of her teachers a gift certificate, usually for $25, from some local store.

Many of the gifts I have received recently have been homemade; cookies, candy and the like. This year I have already received 2 bags of homemade candy and some chocolate covered pretzels--all delicious. As well, I received a rather nice holiday mug, a bottle of wine, and a gift certificate. The gift certificate was from a young lady who I had taught last year and her sister who I taught two years ago--it was for $100. The wine came from another young lady I taught last year for whom I had written a letter of recommendation.

Semester exams started today. I have two exams to give today--AP Chemistry and my Chemistry B class. The administration released the list of students who are not to take exams because they still owe tuition and I have 2 students (out of 22) in my Chemistry B class who will not be taking the exam on time, while everyone in AP Chemistry is cleared. There is 1 Honors Chemistry student (out of 80) who is on the list, but I don’t see her until Thursday.

I have 6 outside tutoring students I see, four of them on a regular basis. I have two scheduled for tonight and then I am finished with them until after break. Except for one family, my tutoring students usually don’t give me any kind of gift at the holidays. The one family who does is very generous.

After grading the Chemistry B exams I was pleasantly surprised at how good they were. The highest grade was 95% and the average was 79%, the lowest grade 61%. Only two students failed the exam, one of them failed the semester as well, and will have to take it over in summer school. He had almost 100 points in missing homework 2nd quarter. I informed him that the homework was still missing last week and told him that if he did it all before the exam I would give him partial credit. Needless to say, nothing was turned in.

The average on the AP Chemistry exam was in the mid 80’s, with three students doing so poorly that I feel they should drop the class. It is not my policy to force a student to drop because of poor grades, but if asked I would advise them to do so.

There are still three days of exams left until break. A much needed break I might add.

Just when you think that you can’t be surprised by as colleague’s weirdness, they surprise you again. I have written before about a colleague who often acts like he needs tin foil around his head so the government can’t read his thoughts. About a year or so ago he announced that there was going to be an armed revolution if the rich (who he hates without reserve) kept “messing” with the people. I wrote about how he scared me, somewhat, with his seemingly violent comments. I decided not to report the situation because I did not believe he really would lead an armed revolt, and he hadn’t repeated his threats to the students. He was an angry man, upset because a family member had lost her job in the economic downturn, convinced that the Republicans only cared about the wealthy.

I can hear him teach when I pop into the work room between our classrooms. On several occasions today I heard him going on about the government and/or military who are involved in something detrimental to the hoi polloi. What I couldn’t make out was exactly what was being perpetrated on us by the “man” until after school when he came into my classroom to share his theory with me.

He started by asking if I knew about some new, exciting, research by a scientist. I confessed I had heard nothing earth shattering recently and waited for him to continue. He told me that a reputable scientist recently discovered that we may all actually live in the matrix, and experiments were being designed to test this hypothesis. My first thought was that he was joking, but his tone and demeanor conveyed his seriousness concerning the matter. He then excused himself, telling me that he had soup from the cafeteria to bring home to his wife. There was a student still in the classroom who heard the exchange. After my colleague left, the student looked at me and asked if he was crazy. I laughed, then lied and told the young man that he was just kidding.

If you think about it, there are several recent surprising phenomenon that might be explained by the world being just a computer program: like, how exactly did President Obama get reelected, or why is “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” so popular? In fact, maybe the Chicago Cubs haven’t won a world series in 104 years because agent Smith is a White Sox fan. Come to think of it, the whole idea isn’t as crazy as it appears on the surface.
Just who do I talk to so I can be married to Giada de Laurentiis.

With the end of first quarter coming this week, I find myself more relaxed than last year at this time. My advanced placement students appear to work hard: keeping up with the faster pace I have set for them. My Honors Chemistry classes appear to be progressing: finally getting with the program after a slow start.

I am especially happy with my lower level Chemistry class. They have proven to be well behaved and willing to work hard, if not always consistently or successfully. It has been my observation that most of these “slower” students lack the self confidence that is standard in the honors children. They regularly seek confirmation that they are doing things correctly, need to have the simplest concept reinforced frequently, and require repeated reminders of what is due and when it is due. Many of them are fine in class, but the moment the bell rings and they leave the room, Chemistry is forgotten until they get their seats the next day. This is not due to laziness, but to a serious lack of focus. I worry about many of them. They seem to be well meaning but are significantly incompetent. Several are, in my mind, totally unemployable. I can’t imagine how they could hold down the most menial job for any length of time.

Some of these children have essentially failed at almost everything they have tried in school. They have been told they are slow, dumb, or lazy by many frustrated teachers who have been charged with their education. This frustration comes from unrealistic expectations by their teachers. I entered into this arrangement with very low expectations, generating work and assessments that are significantly more basic that I have ever used before. They don’t know the difference, except they are experiencing better than normal success. The premise is that success breeds more success while frustration breeds more frustration. My hope is that in the future they will develop the confidence to master more difficult work.

The key to making this method work is not to let the students know that you are modifying their work in any way. As far as they are concerned, they are doing the same work the regular classes are doing—they are just going through it more slowly. While I am careful not to compare the lower students to the regular or honors classes, when they make mistakes on their work I tell them not to worry—I say that the “honors” students make the same mistakes, and then re-teach the material.

Now it’s time to enjoy the rest of my Columbus Day vacation.

Today marks the beginning of the third full week of school and things are off to an uneventful start. My class schedule is similar to last year, except for my regular chemistry being replaced by a lower level class. At the end of last year we had two teachers retire. One was full time science and taught all the lower levels of chemistry while the other was both math and science, teaching three regular chemistry sections. With lower enrollment and several department members agreeing to teach an extra class for more pay, we were able to absorb all the sections without having to hire a replacement for either of the retirees. A huge benefit of this occurrence is that everyone in the department has their own room finally. I am free two periods of the day and my classroom is empty both. I no longer have to wander the halls of the school with my laptop looking for a place to work. As a result, my day is more relaxed and I am getting more work done. My lunchtime duty has also been changed. I no longer have duty in front of the cafeteria, but rather I guard a hall on the other end of the school. As a result I am bringing my own lunch and avoiding the cafeteria food. I have already seen an improvement in my blood sugar levels and general feeling of well being in the afternoon. The biggest surprise this year has been my lower level chemistry students. I asked to teach this section because the person teaching the other sections of this class did not want to work with the colleague assigned to be her partner. I had been scheduled for a regular chemistry class, but asked for the lower level classes in order to move the unwaned partner out, maintaining department harmony. My biggest fear was that these students would be discipline problems, making my life miserable for the year. Happily, they are very nice young men and women, even if not the intellectual equivalent of what I am used to. They will try to do whatever you ask them to do. While cooperative and well behaved, their lack of math ability is shocking. Let me give you an example. A problem on their homework asked them to change 2.00 x 10-4 from scientific notation to decimal form. One girls answer was 0.0002.00. That’s not a misprint—she put two decimal points in the answer. When I told her that that wasn’t allowed she stared at the paper like a dog looking at a wrist watch, and asked me if I was sure. With daily help and personal attention from me she steadily improved her homework grades until she finally passed the last assignment with a D-. The next day she took the exam and passed with a D+. The first exam for these students had an average of 81, with grades ranging from 97 to 70—everyone passing.