Parking Space Wars

It seems that you can expect people to behave most immaturely when the point to be made is most meaningless. Something that happened a few weeks ago is a case in point.

Since the cafeledertorium (see post from May 26th, 2008) was built behind what used to be the west entrance to school, teachers and the maintenance staff have been at odds over parking spaces. Before the addition was constructed I, along with many other teachers, parked right outside the back door. The walk from my car to the school door was about 50 feet. Now my walk from the new parking lot into the building is probably 200 yards. There still are about 6 parking spots just along side of the building, but they have been claimed by the maintenance staff who jealously guard them from us. When teachers attempt to use these spots, and the cleaning staff sees, the teacher is confronted and told to move. If a teacher manages to park and get into the building without the “parking police” seeing him or her, someone usually shows up at your room later that day to ask you to go out and move the vehicle.

On the day in question we had about 8 inches of freshly fallen snow in the parking lot before school. When my friend in the Theology Department arrived she found that her normal spot was not plowed, and having a load of boxes to move into the building, parked next to the door in one of the disputed spots. When she left the building that afternoon she found that her car had been buried in snow by someone with a plow and shovel. As she reported to me, the snow was packed around and under her car up to the middle of the windows, while every other parking spot in the lot was shoveled clean. The frozen mass blocked all doors, preventing her from even getting in the vehicle. It took her 45 minutes to dig herself out enough to get in the passenger side and go home. To say the least she was pissed!

I got a hysterical voice mail from her after the fact; filled with swearing and crying. She apparently knew which of the low life morons was responsible and was planning his death. I returned the call and tried to calm her down before matters escalated to physical mayhem, reminding her that the best way to get back at the culprit was to tell the principal what had happened. I argued that the principal would be horrified at her treatment and extract official administrative revenge on the moron. My friend does not trust the principal completely and did not think that she would actually care. On the contrary, I argued that our boss was a feminist at heart, and if the incident was spun as a man doing this terrible thing to a woman, she would have no choice but to side with the poor woman. I suggested that she repeatedly ask, “What man would do something like this to a woman?” when presenting the information; suggesting that it would never have been done to another man, causing the principal’s anger to peak.

I was right; the principal went ballistic. My friend reported that she was promised that this would never happen again and that she (the principal) would find out who did it and take appropriate action.

There is another 7-10 inches of snow predicted for tonight.